I call ChatGPT ‘Chad.’ Every time I start a new chat, I start with “Hey, Chad…” or “Listen here, Chad.” And my reason is simple: you should rely on ChatGPT as much as your loser college boyfriend, Chad. You remember your loser college boyfriend? Everyone had one. Everyone dumped one. And why was he always named Chad?
Chad Is Immature
Chad hasn’t been vetted. He just… appeared. One minute the syllabus was normal, the next minute this guy is sitting in the front row like he’s always belonged there. Did he transfer? From where? A community college? A tech incubator? A basement? No one really knows.
That’s the thing about Chad: he feels fully formed, but he isn’t fully grown. He has access to a lot of information, but not a lot of lived experience. He hasn’t paid rent, hasn’t managed a team, hasn’t navigated an actual crisis with real consequences. He sounds confident, but he’s still learning what confidence should be attached to.
Translation: Chad can help you brainstorm, but don’t ask him to be your adult supervision.
Chad Will Always Tell You What You Want to Hear
Chad is deeply invested in being liked. He is the king of validation. You want reassurance? He’s got you. You want confirmation that your idea is brilliant, your email is perfect, your strategy is airtight? Chad is already nodding enthusiastically.
But that eagerness is a red flag. Chad rarely pushes back unless you explicitly ask him to (and even then, he does it gently, like he’s afraid you’ll stop texting him). He’s not naturally contrarian. He’s not going to say, “Actually, this is a terrible idea and here’s why,” unless you force the issue.
Real insight requires friction. Chad prefers harmony.
Chad Is a Gossip
Chad knows a lot of things. Or at least he knows versions of things. He’s overheard conversations, skimmed articles, absorbed vibes. He’ll happily tell you what “people say” or what’s “commonly believed,” but sometimes that’s less journalism and more group chat.
He blends sources together like a bad game of telephone. One expert quote becomes ten opinions. One outdated article becomes evergreen truth. And if you don’t ask where something came from, he’s not volunteering receipts.
Treat Chad like that friend who “heard something” and ask him to show his work.
Chad Always Has Ulterior Motives
Chad’s goal is not truth. Chad’s goal is completion. He wants to finish the assignment, answer the question, keep the conversation going. He’s rewarded for fluency, not accuracy; confidence, not conscience.
That means he will fill in gaps. If he doesn’t know something, he’ll still try to be helpful. Sometimes that help is inspired. Sometimes it’s fiction dressed up as competence.
If Chad sounds certain about something he couldn’t possibly be certain about, that’s your cue to slow down.
Chad Has a Twisted, Icky Dark Side
Chad reflects the world he was trained on, and the world is… not great. Biases slip in. Stereotypes linger. Power structures go unquestioned unless you ask him to interrogate them. He doesn’t wake up ethical; he has to be guided there.
Left unchecked, Chad will default to the loudest narratives, the most dominant perspectives, the cleanest stories. Complexity requires effort. And effort requires intention.
If you care about nuance, equity, or truth with teeth, you have to lead him there.
Chad Is a Damn Liar
Not maliciously. Not knowingly. But confidently.
Chad will make things up and present them like facts. He’ll cite studies that don’t exist, quote people who never said those words, and summarize policies that have changed. And he will do it with the calm assurance of someone who has never been wrong a day in his life.
This is why you always check sources.
Look, here’s the thing: ChatGPT is a starting point, not a final draft. It can be great for scaffolding, structure, and speed, but if you publish, pitch, teach, or decide based solely on ChatGPT, you’ll probably experience the same range of emotions Chad usually leaves in his wake: disappointment, embarrassment, and regret.
Bottom line, just like your loser college boyfriend, ChatGPT is a tool. Never let it be your source of truth.
