How to Balance Working and Writing from Home with a New Baby
Balance? Balance is for the birds, literally. Just kidding. A little snark always lightens the mood when we are dealing with such a frustrating, elusive topic. When there is a baby or children in the WFH mix, the family and work dynamic you have spent so much effort carefully cultivating can become a convoluted, tangled mess. Either the workflow or the enjoyment and comfort family time bring us will be compromised if we don’t have an arsenal of ways to cope at arms’ reach.
Map a Flexible Routine
Managing a household, working from home and being a caregiver to a baby are three separate, full time jobs. My best advice to feeling as light as possible with the heaviness of these responsibilities is to structure a schedule and routine that allows time for all of it. Be flexible to the fact that the first iteration of the schedule you create might not work. It will probably take several attempts and many conversations with your partner to get it right. Honestly, it will never be “right.” You will inevitably be interrupted more times than you will remember, but the key to completing your assignment/work and not losing or mind in the process is to manage your expectation and time while having tricks up your sleeve you can pull from to keep all parties involved focused and content.
Strategies
Working from home with baby is going to look a little different for everyone, but hopefully I can share some new mom advice that is universally helpful. Some things that may help:
1. This one is a little obvious but needs to be said. Being comfortable asking for help and having someone other than yourself or partner help you with baby will give the most out of your designated “work time.” However, this one is challenging given our current, new reality of social distancing and pandemic living. It is still doable though if you are comfortable with it.
2. Get to know all the gear and gadgets. At this particular moment, my baby is next to me on the sofa wrapped in a swaddle propped on his boppy with a paci in his mouth. Experimenting with what soothes your baby is crucial while NOT working, so you have your go-to’s when it is, in fact, GO-time for you to meet your deadline.
3. If baby is a little older and sitting up, a highchair and a box of cheerios will go a long way if you need to buy yourself 20-minute window to work or write. Put a couple of bowls in the mix, and baby can thrill herself working on her pincer grasp and throwing arm.
Disclaimer: it helps if you own a small, handheld vacuum for quick clean up.
4. Do the work at night. Nighttime can incite quite a bit of fear and anxiety If you have a baby that hates to sleep (my current situation), you might as well channel those feelings into something productive.
5. Always have your workspace ready for action. Whether it’s a traditional set up in a home office, a tv tray on the patio or a makeshift situation at the kitchen table, you should take the time to designate that area yours’ for working. Let anyone that lives with you know as well and treat it with the utmost respect. I have a desk in the kitchen and my husband has spare room. We are both so mindful of how we treat each other’s’ spaces, and it truly makes a difference when you There might always be dishes in the sink, a pile of folded laundry waiting to be put up (my real shortcoming in life), but a lot of us HAVE to work, which is why it’s so important that when that work window opens up, all you have to do is sit down and get to it.
6. If it’s just not happening at home, get in your car and go. If you can, take baby for a short walk at the park, they will most likely be asleep afterward. You can fire up the hotspot on your cell phone (if the internet is needed) and get after it. Odds are that walk cleared your head as well as freeing you from the “need-to-do’s back at home, making it a very productive slice of time.
7. Cut yourself some slack. We are living in an unprecedented time, at least from a generational perspective. If you need more time to finish something, ask for it. Maybe you won’t get it, but maybe you will. Of course, do your best to honor timelines and deadlines, but if you know that you are unable to follow through, be honest with your leader/boss about your limitations and most likely you both can work together to tailor a more manageable work load.
Don’t forget YOURSELF.
My most valuable new mom advice is to remember yourself. I would call it self-care, but I’d rather not. For me, the phrase “self-care” drums up images of Instagram posts featuring bathtubs with floating flower petals, manicured nails and other eye-rolling provoking gestures that, quite frankly, make me grumpy. If that sounded resentful or judgmental, it was. The reason: I haven’t practiced any self-care in a while. Please, don’t get yourself into an eye-rolling rut when you scroll through IG, and go do something nice for yourself.
A lot of our regular outlets are compromised given the current pandemic/health crisis we are living in today, but we can always find 15-20 minutes for ourselves. Set an alarm. Do something that makes you happy- that you can get lost in even for a short period of time. Some of my personal favorites: Grab a pair of dumbbells and watch an episode of your favorite cooking show. Listen to a podcast about wellness. I love mindbodygreen. Pick up your favorite magazine. Text a friend you haven’t spoken to in a while just to let them you know you are thinking about them. Pick 5 recent photos on your phone to print and hang them somewhere you can view them every day. Put your phone on DO NOT DISTURB and do a meditation using an app or find one on YouTube. Light a candle and count your blessings. Gratitude can go a long way in calming our minds.
My last snippet of new mom advice.
When you become a mom, you immediately surrender who you were to who you are now. You might not recognize yourself immediately because this new you is being created and molded minute by minute growing as your baby grows. It is all too easy to become consumed with all of the loving, feeding and nurturing this new life has come to require from us. It’s nearly impossible to not get caught up in everything that is new, beautiful and exhausting. In my opinion though, however wonderful all the newness that comes with baby is, it’s tantamount to our sanity and our future as a parent/role model to remember what made us tick before our brilliant, tiny humans were center stage. Those “things” (jobs, hobbies, relationships) will inevitably take a more peripheral role in our lives’ after baby, but it’s important to save a space for them—how much space is up to you.
Remember that schedules and routine set your work from home outcome up for success. In order to follow through, experimenting with coping strategies for you and baby is most helpful. You must not forget to nurture yourself. A little self-love goes a long way in any journey, especially motherhood.
Ashley Robertson
Ashley Robertson currently lives in Mobile, Alabama with her husband, two little boys, and spunky rat terrier. After graduating from the University of South Alabama, she and her then boyfriend (now, husband) moved to Chicago for four years and truly loved every second of it, but living close to the coastline of the Gulf of Mexico and nearby to family are among the greatest reasons she has chosen to make her birthplace the home for her growing family. She is a stay at home mom who has worked about every kind of job imaginable, but her current position is her favorite and most challenging to date.
She is passionate about always keeping her body moving whether it be chasing a two-year-old around the back yard or a heated vinyasa flow. The kitchen is most definitely her happy place, and she’s always trying to figure out how to make the world she lives in a little healthier and happier any way possible.
